(Self) Reflections From Practice - What This Work Asks Of Us
I’ve been wondering about how it feels to be actors in our systems, and how we might recognise and notice systemic structures in the moment, in ourselves and with each other.
Our approaches are quite big on empathy and/or system mapping as ways to understand systems, and rightly so e.g. visualising and understanding the lived experiences of systems.
I’m not sure I have seen us do this for ourselves and our experiences - what is it like to be us in these systems? When we are looking to respond within and change our systems.
What I notice is that our own states of mind, being and acting are deeply shaping what we see and how we can respond. How easy it is to become versions of ourselves that don’t serve us or the kaupapa. That seem to lead us away from the things we actually need to be so we can respond differently, instead we become versions of ourselves that hurt us and the mahi.
I’m thinking about this in terms of some common system loops, tensions and polarities we see across our health and social systems.
The catch 22’s - people having to label and identify others in certain ways for them to receive support/s - or to be ‘seen’ by the system; then those labels continually degrading their choices, control and ability to be well. Sometimes for the rest of their lives.
Crisis vs. Planning response - Being so ‘busy’ responding to the crises within our systems and for people, e.g. deal with the incredible level of distress and danger people are in; that there is none of the capacity we need to lift our gaze to the horizon, to envision, believe in and plan with people for a different future.
Using the only options we have and then being to blame for choosing the only options we had - when people in all parts of our systems do what we have to ‘get things over the line’ or to ‘make the system work’ to get the support and outcomes we need. Taking the only paths that the system allows. Yet, there are usually unintended consequences from these choices (if we can call them that) which come back to haunt us. When seen over time, in hindsight, by others and from different perspectives, the question is begged ‘why on earth would you have done that’. People are blamed for taking the only avenues that have been made available to them. When these unpredictable ‘gotcha’s’ arise, people are deemed ungrateful and have to ‘lie in the bed we have made’. When in fact none of us can predict or know these things completely, a known and common aspect of complex systems.
Seeing the worst in people and our environments drives us to expect and therefore create the worst in ourselves and our environment- being in crisis and entrenched in toxic stress and trauma, drives us deeper in to the exact mindsets and conditions that keep us locked in to crises. We get in to perpetual spirals, cycling downwards, behaving in ways that we know are oppositional to who we need to be to do this work well.
I wonder how we might build our ability to recognise systemic structures in the moment. How do we notice, become aware to and name these things within us and in real time? Finding ways to surface the underlying systemic structures of mental models and paradigms in our rooms and conversations. In the moments that matter, yet are often not recognised as the ones that fundamentally alter the trajectory of peoples lives and our systems.
I am reflecting on the power of moments, micro actions and decisions - the habitual and unconscious ways we are within our day to day lives, and how these add up over days, weeks and months to being who we are. And as we know, who we are (our ways of being) is a fundamental component of our practice and ability to navigate systems, arguably more than any method, framework or tool.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” James Clear (Author of Atomic Habits)
What might be different if we are able to notice and name things that our driving us in certain directions when they are actually occurring? How might we respond differently, what decisions could change? How might I be different if I can connect my feelings and reactions to these systemic patterns, drivers and conditions.
What are the small habits and actions I might form that support me to be the version of myself that I need to be to progress our kaupapa? Being accountable for who I am in this, while at the same time being self compassionate with how hard this is.
As always, I’m left wondering what this might ask of us and of each other.
